i really like the glow and shine i get after eating fried chicken out in the sun

please stop posting how drunk you were the night before

instead post about the farmers skillet you ate the next day

Hey girls with big butts or Mitches:

How do I gain weight in just my butt?

never met a burrito that i didn't like

on my way to work today i was worried about what i was going to have for lunch

god sent an answer in the way of a B.I.G. Meats BBBQ!

i am very disappointed in myself, i only ate two hotdogs and drank only two beers. i hate the monster i have become

been huffin wing fumes all night

do you think I am a shitty Elvis fan because I have some sort of allergy to peanut butter, or do you think I am a better Elvis fan because often I will take one for the team and eat peanut product anyway

a couple lessons for today, 6 slices of bacon.

also, always put the water, followed by the Metamucil not the other way around

today i ate a pizza

today i ate a pizza, it has been sitting in the fridge for a while, i didn't warm it up, and dumped a bunch of hot sauce on it. im having heart burn now, im unhappy